


Pieces of the Aftermath

by relucant



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bottom Dean, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Spanking, Strapping, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 21:09:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2596514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relucant/pseuds/relucant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's name had barely left Dean's lips before the telltale shuddering flickered through the air and the angel stood next to him at the foot of the bed.</p><p>Dean looked up, dirt ground into his skin and a rivulet of dried blood snaking down from his hairline. Without a word he reached up and dropped the leather strap he was holding into Cas' hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieces of the Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to just be a fun hot kinky chapter of [this story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1379110/chapters/2886505), based on [this tumblr post](http://i-have-a-acklehol-problem.tumblr.com/post/102164402973/sexual-dean-gifs-not-my-gif-bottom-dean-look) but somehow started a lot darker than I intended and didn't fit. So this is what ended up.
> 
> (I suck at tags, but it's not as angsty as the tags would suggest, at least not by the end.)

Castiel's name had barely left Dean's lips before the telltale shuddering flickered through the air and the angel stood next to him at the foot of the bed.

Dean looked up, dirt ground into his skin and a rivulet of dried blood snaking down from his hairline. Without a word he reached up and dropped the leather strap he was holding into Cas' hand.

Cas' fingers closed around it automatically, but he didn't say anything for a long moment, glancing between the strap and the look on Dean's face. His features were nearly unreadable, but Cas could see the unspoken plea in his eyes and the tightness of his jaw, hidden under a carefully neutral mask.

"Go shower," he finally said gently, dropping the strap on the bed.

Dean nodded and stood up, crossing into the tiny hall, but he stopped and turned back in the doorway.

"Will you --?" he said, tilting his head towards the bathroom.

Cas shook his head. "Not this time. But I'll be here when you're done."

Dean nodded again, disappearing into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Cas turned back to the bed and picked up the strap, stroking the soft leather idly.

Finally the shower shut off, and the bathroom door opened with a puff of steam.

"I could just make you sleep, you know," Cas said without turning around.

"You can't take the dreams away," Dean said quietly.

Cas sighed and sat down, still holding the leather. He braced himself before he looked up.

He didn't like it when Dean was like this, all bared and broken. Not when Cas had catalogued all his other moods, whether he was laid out on the bed sated and panting or razor-focused in full hunter mode, or especially those rare flashes of open laughter, like the sunrise was breaking on his face.

But he couldn't deny that the sight of Dean standing naked in front of him with his head bowed and skin glistening, silhouetted in the sickly light shining from the hallway bulb, made his mouth go dry and his breathing erratic, arousal stirring in his belly.

Still --

"Talk to me, Dean," he said quietly. "Tell me about it."

"I don't _want_ to talk about it," Dean snapped through clenched teeth. "Isn't that the _point_?"

The heat in Dean's voice went straight to Cas' dick but he just sighed and stood up. He wrapped the strap gently around the back of Dean's neck, pulling him close, and Dean tilted his head back and rolled his shoulders, feeling the give in the leather. Cas dragged it slowly down his back in smooth, caressing motions until it was taut against the curve of his ass. He snapped it once gently, not even hard enough to sting, and Dean hissed, but Cas just kissed his collarbone.

"I know what you need, Dean," he said, trying to keep his voice steady and clear of arousal. "And I can give that to you. But I won't do it blindly, without knowing why. I can't."

Dean stiffened and began to pull away but Cas tugged him back closer, rubbing back and forth and dropping small kisses into his neck. He wanted to reach up and tilt Dean's face towards him, so he could read what was in his eyes, but he knew it was easier for Dean this way, with his expression masked in shadow.

He could feel Dean warring with himself, his muscles tense and trembling, but all at once they went lax, and he slumped, wrapping his arms around Cas' back.

"It's stupid," he said, his voice bitter even muffled against Cas' shoulder. "It's dumb. Dunno why I let it get to me. Know better."

Cas just waited, trying to ground him in the smooth slide of the leather over his ass and thighs. Finally Dean gave a small shudder and began to talk.

"It was a demon," he said. "Of course it was a fucking demon. I knew it, goin' in, stank to hell of sulphur, but it was possessing a _child_ , Cas. A little girl." His voice had gone soft and shaky. "Didn't know if I could do it, but I got her. But… before it smoked out, she, it -- it set the place on fire. And I… I froze, Cas, I fucking froze. Kept seein' mom on ceiling and the house crumbling, and I…" He paused and swallowed, and Cas felt wetness on his shoulder. "I thought I was back on the rack, Cas. I froze and I couldn't -- I didn't get her out, the little girl. Or…" He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Or her brother."

"You can't save everyone," Cas said as calmly as he could, despite his heart shattering into pieces.

"You think I don't know that?" Dean choked. "Can't save _anyone_ \-- not one godforsaken thing I care about. An' yet I'm still here. The kids are gone, and mom's still gone, and Sammy… Sammy's still in the Pit, and I'm still here. The only one who doesn't deserve to be." He lifted his head. "Please, Cas," he whispered. "I need… I need to not feel. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."

Cas exhaled slowly -- he was trembling too, now -- and tried to think. He understood what Dean needed, being taken out of his own head, relieved of the responsibility to think and feel for a short time. And he knew he could give that. But he wasn't sure how to make sure Dean knew he was giving relief from some of the hell he never deserved, and not punishment for sins he didn't commit.

Cas, for his part, was just as well-acquainted with self-imposed penance.

Dean was still and silent, awaiting Cas' reply with a patience he rarely showed.

"OK," he finally said, but now he did raise one hand to turn Dean's face towards his. "But, Dean -- I _do_ understand what you need, I think, but -- please, for me, promise me this isn't a form of self-flagellation."

Dean snorted weakly, staring at the floor. "Yeah, yeah. I get beat up 'nough when I'm _not_ askin' for it, OK?"

"I mean it, Dean," Cas said, putting a finger under his chin, tilting his head up 'til their eyes met. "I'm trusting that you're being upfront with me. Promise me."

Dean very obviously stopped an eye-roll before it quite got going, but he held Cas' gaze. "I get it, Cas," he said. "I do. I'm not tryin' to… to manipulate somethin' out of you here. Promise. I just… please."

Cas tilted his head, staring at him, then nodded. "OK. But… we haven't done _this_ ," he said, twitching the strap against Dean's flesh, "very often. So I'm telling you, Dean, if you want me to be cruel tonight, I won't be, not tonight. If that's what you're looking for, we should stop right now."

"Understood," Dean said, swallowing. "And -- no. That's -- it's not. I trust you."

"OK," Cas said. "And -- would you be all right with green-yellow-red, instead of pancakes as a safe word?" Dean blinked at him in mild surprise, and he shrugged. "I'd feel better being able to check in, instead of giving you an all-or-nothing."

Dean _did_ roll his eyes this time, and a bit of Cas' hesitation melted at the familiar gesture. "S'fine, Cas, works for me," he mumbled. "God, dunno if you'd be a ridiculous or terrifying dom if you actually did it for yourself and not as a favor to me."

Cas stared at him, speechless, then shoved him back on the bed and flipped him over in one smooth motion, catching his wrists behind his back in one hand.

"That's what you think?" he whispered, straddling the small of his back. "That I don't _want_ this?" He pressed the strap along Dean's skin, tapping the tip gently along his spine. "We don't do this very often, like this -- and you're right; I prefer to see you in pleasure than in pain. But… having you like this, when it's what you want, what you need… and _I'm_ the one who does it… you are a gift to me, Dean. All of you."

He ground down against his ass, dress pants not remotely concealing his arousal, and Dean whimpered. Cas shifted down until he was sitting on Dean's thighs, then undid his own belt and thumbed open the button of his slacks, but left them on.

"Green?" he said, dragging the leather over the unmarked skin of Dean's ass.

" _Green_ ," Dean hissed, twisting his hands in the sheets.

Without further warning Cas hit him twice, once on each cheek, hard enough to sting but only leaving a faint pink mark.

" _Cas_ ," Dean snarled, trying to glare over his shoulder. "I can _take_ it."

Cas smacked him hard, but only with his hand. "No," he said flatly. "We are doing this my way, or not at all. I thought we'd established that." He waited, just running his free hand in worshipful lines over Dean's back. Dean nodded, and he paused, tapping his fingertips expectantly.

"Green," Dean finally mumbled, and Cas could see the faint blush in his face.

"Good," Cas murmured, laying a long horizontal stripe across his ass that glowed slightly redder than the last, then bent down to kiss it. "So good."

He looped the leather around his hand, shortening the striking length, sacrificing force in favor of precision. He smacked up softly one side of Dean's back, ass to shoulder, then down the other, just leaving the barest pink in his wake, and Dean writhed underneath him.

"Please," he begged.

"God, you're so beautiful," Cas snarled, laying out three stripes on his ass, hard enough to mark but not to welt. "So _perfect_." He pressed a fingernail into Dean's shoulderblade and dragged it down, watching the line of skin turn white, then pink.

Dropping the strap off to the side, he began spanking Dean with his hand, alternating between quick mild smacks over and over, and single hard blows.

"You gave me life, Dean Winchester," he murmured, roughly massaging the hot skin. "You -- you showed me what colors look like -- what sensation feels like -- what your mouth tastes like."

Dean moaned, bucking his hips, but Cas pressed him back down, spanking him in methodical rhythm now, making sure not an inch of his ass remained pale and unattended.

Cas sat back, his fingertips dancing over the flesh.

"I would like to whip you twice, with the strap," he finally said. "Hard enough to leave a welt. Twice, and if you want more, I am not willing to give that, tonight."

Dean let out an incoherent mewl, pushing himself back, and Cas stopped him.

"Dean," he said. "I need you with me. Are we still green?"

" _Yes_ ," he keened. "Cas…"

Cas nodded, satisfied, and picked the strap back up, leaving a vicious length free.

"I love you," he breathed, and whipped a long diagonal stroke across his ass. "You're everything." He crisscrossed the blossoming welt, forming a red X, then threw the leather off the bed, bending to kiss and lick the hot red lines.

Finally he began to clamber off, to slide up and press gentle touches and kisses everywhere he could reach, but Dean made an unhappy sound, and he paused.

"Dean?"

"Need you to fuck me," Dean mumbled, locking his ankles over the angel's calves.

Cas groaned, his hands reflexively going to push off his clothes. "You -- you're sure?"

" _Yes_ ," Dean said, as emphatically as he could into a pillow.

"Ride me?" Cas whispered, trying to turn them over. "So I don't hurt --?"

"No," Dean interrupted, crawling onto his hands and knees. "I -- I want you to. Like this. Want to feel it."

Cas pulled back, his brows drawing together. "Dean…"

Dean huffed out a half-laugh, half-groan, but he twisted himself around until he was on his side.

"Cas," he said, and his voice was slurred but his eyes brighter than they'd been all night. "S'not self -- self-flagellation. Promise. 'm OK now, I think. Or gettin' there."

Cas still looked dubious, and Dean pulled him down for a kiss.

"Can't I heal you first?" Cas whispered, then flinched, knowing it was the wrong thing to say even before Dean stiffened.

"No," Dean said flatly. "And if you don't get why --"

"I do," Cas interrupted. "I do. I'm sorry. I can't help -- can't help it. Even if I'm the one inflicting it, and you want it, and I want to give it. I'm sorry. I won't ask again."

Dean stared at him, then nodded. "And if you fuck me good I'll _even_ ," he said magnanimously, "let you rub lotion on my ass and give me a backrub."

Cas snorted, but the tension in his chest began to unlock. "Will I have to grovel to take you into the bath?"

"Probably," Dean agreed. "Especially if you don't fuck me _right -- now_ \--" 

Cas growled, and bent over to grab the lube tucked into one of the duffels. He slicked up his fingers, dragging them over the raised stinging skin, and Dean moaned.

"Still green?" Cas whispered, spreading Dean's sore cheeks apart.

" _Yes_ ," Dean hissed. "Please, Cas…"

Cas pressed one finger into him, the other hand rubbing circles, and he bent himself over to kiss and lick up Dean's spine.

"Sometimes I'm sad you can't ever see yourself like this," he said, pushing and crooking his finger, then adding another. "You know, I have never had occasion to explore the -- the pornography vaults in the Vatican. But I think they must -- they must look like you."

He pushed in a third finger, and Dean mewled, shoving and shaking, and Cas gripped his hip.

"But more, I -- I'm slightly jealous," he admitted. "I don't want anyone else to see you like this. So gorgeous, so perfect -- and -- _mine_ \--"

He drew out his fingers and lined himself up, working the head of his cock at Dean's hole, dripping more lube between them.

"Cas," Dean whispered. "Please."

Finally Cas gave in, pushing slowly inside. Dean hissed, trying to push back, but Cas held him steady. He slid himself further, agonizingly slow, until he was flush against the hot raised flesh, and then ground his hips against the welts. Dean let out a choked moan, dropping his forehead onto the mattress and bracing his hand against the wall.

"Good?" he murmured, slipping a hand around Dean's waist to stroke feather-light along his cock, and Dean shuddered.

" _More_ ," he hissed. Goosebumps pebbled visibly down his shoulders.

Cas groaned. He leaned forward, over Dean's back, wrapping their hands together on the bed and on the wall. He pulled out, then shoved himself back inside, and Dean caught the pillow between his teeth to muffle his cries.

Cas tugged it free. "Let me hear you," he said, kissing Dean's hair. He snapped his hips again once, hard, then began fucking into Dean in a steady but relentless rhythm. His sharp hipbones dragged against the abused skin with every stroke, and Dean dissolved into a litany of high, incoherent pleas.

"Cas, Cas, fuck," he chanted, his fingers twisting in Cas' hands. "Cas, fuck, _please_..."

"Me too, Dean," Cas choked, feeling his orgasm coiling tighter in his belly.

He shook off Dean's grasp on his hands and wrapped them around his hips, then pulled out and slammed in hard, his thumbs pressing into the welts on each cheek.

"Yes," Dean gasped, "fuck, yes, gonna --"

Cas reached up and twisted one hand in Dean's hair. "Come, Dean," he growled. "Come for me now." He spanked Dean's ass once more, right over the welts, and Dean went rigid, coming untouched in hard, soundless shudders on the sheets.

The feeling of Dean convulsing underneath him, and _around him_ , muscles trembling under his hands, pushed Cas over the edge, his orgasm torn out of him like a breaking dam. His vision went staticky and he felt like he was coming endlessly, hips grinding into red hot flesh.

Eventually his arms gave out and he collapsed, sprawled over Dean's back, panting.

"Jesus," Dean slurred into the pillow.

"No," Cas muttered, still not moving. "Angel." Dean snorted softly.

Finally he pulled out, crawling up the bed and hauling Dean onto his chest, wrapping his arms around his back.

Dean made a face. "Think you impregnated me," he said, wiggling his hips experimentally, but he smiled against Cas' chest.

"I assure you that is unlikely," Cas mumbled, and Dean laughed.

Cas stretched out one arm, flailing for the bottle of lube tossed to the side of the bed. He squirted two generous blobs directly onto Dean's ass, and Dean yelped.

"Dude, did you just lube my ass?" he grumbled, squirming. "Think it's supposed to go _inside_..."

"There's enough there already," Cas said primly. "Among other things."

"I miss the days b'fore you learned dirty talk," Dean said, but he moaned appreciatively when Cas began rubbing it in gentle circles into the tender skin.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, burying his face in Dean's golden hair as he continued his ministrations to his ass.

"Mmph," Dean asserted. "Tired. Sore. Better." He was silent for a minute, aside from small happy noises. "Thanks, Cas," he said in a whisper.

Cas just smiled into his hair, lifting a hand to stroke Dean's jaw.

"Oh _ew_ ," Dean groaned, rolling away and wiping at the streak of lube now shining on his face. Cas just raised an unrepentant eyebrow, then lightning fast swiped his hand across Dean's other cheek, leaving a twin streak.

"I hate you," Dean mumbled, scrubbing futilely.

"Mm," Cas agreed. He pulled Dean back against his chest, and Dean gave in, pressing his slick cheek onto his shoulder.

"Don't think you're gettin' out've groveling," he said without opening his eyes, "but… how 'bout that bath."

**Author's Note:**

> A/N -- I have a small degree of experience in bdsm-type things but basically only in play, nothing intense or emotional. I tried to create a realistic and healthy scene, but suggestions are welcome!
> 
> (Also, I love this fandom -- "oh yes I tried to make this realistic, this scene between an angel and a dude who just killed some demons while his little bro's in Hell")
> 
> \--
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](http://relucant.tumblr.com). I'm nice.


End file.
